I still miss Tallahassee and my friends so much, but beach living is beautiful.
Penelope dubbed this summer “Mama and Penelope Camp” because she refused to go to camp this summer and only wanted to be with me. I was lucky enough to be able to rearrange my work schedule and make that happen. To you my sweet reader, and buyer of cookbooks and other things I am affiliate for, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the flexibility that your support gives me. :)
Recently, we went to a turtle release event at the beach across the street from our neighborhood. Loggerhead Marine Life Center rescues sea turtles in the surrounding area and takes care of them till they are well enough to be released. It was a magical thing to experience with Penelope. You could feel the beach pulsating with the energy of the prayers and well wishes for the turtles as they transitioned back to their natural habitat.
This gal wasn’t so sure about going back home. When she reached water’s edge, she actually turned back around and started moving away from the water! The Loggerhead vet staff had to go and pick her up and put her in the water. She eventually got the hang of it and swam out to sea.
The whole experience got me thinking about transitions. Periods of transition can be so difficult and uncomfortable, even if, ultimately, they lead to good things. I can’t even imagine how scary it is for a turtle to be rescued from the only home they know, then live in a tank for months while being poked and prodded by vets and then stared at by loud kids all day during recovery, and then thrown back into their natural environment having to process it all and survive.
I (mostly) hate times of transition. I don’t like being out of the regular schedule and routine. I don’t like anything that throws me off my game or makes me uncomfortable. I like things in their place. I like to know what is happening and when. I like to control everything. I like for things to be perfect.
The transition from Tallahassee is still happening, but the initial uncomfortableness is mostly over, thank God. That move about did me in.
But right as I was starting to feel comfortable in our new beach town, transitioning from the school year to summer was difficult for me. On one hand, I was excited to be able to spend a lot of quality time with Penelope; on the other, I was highly annoyed that my schedule was changing and I wasn’t getting as much alone time or work time as I need/want.
And just about the time that I had fully settled in and transitioned to our summer schedule of Mama and Penelope camp (check out my Instagram feed to see all the cool activities and play dates I set up every day), it was time to transition out of summer and get ready for school schedule!
It reminds me of that saying, the only constant is change.
Being comfortable with change, with transitions, and with things being out of my control will be a lifelong lesson for me. I’m sure. A lot of sexual trauma survivors have similar issues, so at the very least I know I am not alone. Things that helped me with this summer transition and to give up control, was to up my daily self care. If my body is relaxed, it doesn’t send messages to my brain to be on high alert and stressed out about any possible danger lurking from the change (your old brain/mind is always on the hunt for danger to keep you safe). I did more at-home yoga, stretching and trauma release exercises than I normally do to release the stress from my body. Tapping is a great tool too, you can literally just tap the middle of your forehead and say “I am safe” so your new brain comes online and overrides the old brain.
And if that doesn’t work, here are some pictures of cute baby turtles! These pictures turn off my flight or fight response. They are just too cute!