Tell me, tell me, please, I am not alone in suffering from the period frown.
That moment when you realize Aunt Flo has arrived and despite the fact that you are not even trying to get pregnant, actually you are trying to NOT get pregnant, you still frown at the thought of no new life growing inside you.
It is such a confusing feeling for me, I mean I don’t want to be pregnant….RIGHT? Wait, do I? No definitely I don’t. I am already stretched thin with caring for my three-year-old, and let’s be real, caring for my 30-year-old. Add two high-maintenance Yorkies and I literally can not clean up after anybody else’s bathroom mishaps.
Oh, but I do want a sibling for my son, and I do love that sleepy, nursing baby stage. It would be amazing, feeling a baby growing inside me again, and sharing the experience with the wild one.
But pregnancy was terrifying for me… the out-of-control feeling that accompanys pregancy is awful for a control freak, plus that inevitable spotting (I had with the wild one ughhhh) and what will for sure make an appearance is my heart pounding in my throat every time I wipe after going to the bathroom. Can I handle that again? I basically coped with it the first time by sleeping away 9 months of my life and eating grits all the time! Sleeping constantly not so much an option anymore with a three-year -old home 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
Oh I could do it, time seems to fly now that I have a child and I could make grits in huge batches and just re-heat them, can you do that with grits? Man I love grits, mmmmm eggs and grits, cheese grits, shrimp grits, grits and anything!
No No No! The kid says he doesn’t want a baby. He actually does that thing with his lips like “get out of here!” Then I see him investigating other people’s babies and being so sweet… until he is not!
What is happening in my head?! Every month, every single stinking month I am plagued with the period frown. Not the period sigh of relief I used to get!
I am convinced while I am of prime baby-making age, this will stay with me. My years are numbered as well as my eggs in this department, I don’t want to waste either!
But I need to make sure all parties involved are ready, and that they will wear the no-period grin with me when the time comes… which maybe sooner than later… or maybe not… yes no yes no yes no yes no YES?!?