I think I like the way I set it up last week, with me posting some of my favorite quotes to get the conversation going, so that’s what I am gonna do again!
Here they are in no particular order:
“The parent can either walk away, (which may leave a child sobbing, or crying out in a panic, “Mommy, come back! Come back!) or banish the child to his room or some other place where a parent isn’t. This tactic might accurately be called forcible isolation. But that label would make a lot of parents uncomfortable, so a more innocuous term tends to be used instead, one that allows us to avoid facing up to what’s really going on. The preferred euphemism, as perhaps you’ve guessed, is time-out.”
“Time-out is actually an abbreviation for time out from positive reinforcement. The practice was developed almost half a century ago as a way of training LABORATORY ANIMALS.”
“For many people, the first question would be whether this approach works. Once again, however, that proves to be a more complicated matter than it may seem. We have to ask, “Works to do what?”
“Spanking and time-out, both communicate to children that if they do something we don’t like, we’ll make them suffer in order to change their behavior. The only remaining question is how we’ll make them suffer: by causing physical pain through hitting, or by causing emotional pain through enforced isolation.”
“Intrinsic motivation basically means you like what you’re doing for its own sake, whereas extrinsic motivation means you do something as a means to an end- in order to get a reward or avoid a punishment. It’s the difference between reading a book because you want to find out what happens in the next chapter and reading because you’ve been promised a sticker or a pizza for doing so.”
“The more that people are rewarded for doing something, the more likely they are to lose interest in whatever they had to do to get the reward.”
What grabbed you the most this chapter? How damaging time-outs are or that rewards are just as damaging? Or both?